Things that shouldn’t be awesome but are

things that shouldn't be awesome but are-001

Last week, we told you the things that shouldn’t annoy us but absolutely do. To counterbalance this and to illustrate that our contributors aren’t merely a bunch of miseries/moaners/haters, here’s a collection of things that shouldn’t be awesome but that we love: 

Having a shift cancelled at work. I always know my bank balance will suffer but my inner truant is already planning the quickest celebratory method of getting drunk. Laters you rich droid bastards I’m off to bathe in sunshine and wine! Bianca Cornale 

The above picture. And anything DOGE related. Sophie Metcalfe 

Retorting to someone with “Your mum’s a (repeat what they said)”. Colin Delaney

The Lego Movie. C’mon, who honestly thought this would be any good when they first saw the poster? Even the trailer looked a bit ropey. Yet it was hilarious. Altogether now… “Everything is awesome, everything is cool when you’re part of a team.” Bobby Townsend

Poundland. Kirstie Newman

Red wine and coke. Oliver Heath

Chiko rolls. I’m really sad they are going to discontinue them. They’re awesome. I also love Roses chocolates. But I feel like everyone knows they’re awesome anyway, especially Mums. Jack Colwell

Redskins. Sure they’re racist but damn are they tasty! Colin Delaney

Smoking. Lisa Says

SherlockBenedict Cumberbatch’s face. It shouldn’t… but it works for me. Josephine Rozenberg-Clarke

A fresh, straight-from-the-packet sharpie. The smell, the feel of it hitting virgin white paper. It’s almost sensual. Sophie Metcalfe

Watching Charmed on TV at 3am. Oliver Heath

Crisp Sandwiches. On white bread. The cheaper and whiter the bread the better. Bobby Townsend

Dogs in shops/on trains/in pubs. Carol Bowditch 

Calling someone on a lie. You know those people who BS their way through life and fabricate things to make themselves seem fancy? Saying “Oh, but didn’t you say blah blah blah before?” and watching them squirm. I know, I know… I’m a terrible person. Laura Ghafoor 

Squeezing pimples/spots/zits. You’re not supposed to. But it’s so satisfying! Josephine Rozenberg-Clarke

A rapper that calls himself the King, a God and Yeezes. What a douche but no matter what cringey self-important stunt he pulls I think he kicks arse. Harriet Cheney

Milkshakes. Once a year I have this urgent need to drink one. And afterwards I have the urgent need to puke. Lisa Says

Strawberry milkshakes when you’re hungover! Sophie Metcalfe

Mixing ice cream until it melts and then slurping it up like a thickshake. Keely Thurecht 

Flipping the bird at drivers who incessantly honk the horn at you just because they’re impatient….whilst smiling. Jess Matthews 

taylorSexual asphyxiation, anal, escargot and my fantasies involving Taylor Swift. Not that I mean to imply that I fantasise about tenderly choking and sodomising Taylor Swift. No I’m a gent, and anyway my fantasy is way more perverse. I imagine that we’re eating her homemade apple pie and she confesses that, contrary to her song lyrics, she’s usually the problem, and as her icy tear hits the floor the curse is lifted and I cease to have failed relationships. I’m not suggesting that Taylor Swift would be part of that new successful relationship future, just that she’s the root of a global evil… although she is a very accomplished and attractive young lady. I wonder if she likes Kalimotxo? (that’s the fancy name for coke and red wine). Oliver Heath

Sweet + Savoury combos like honey and peanut butter – dreams are made of that stuff. Harriet Cheney

Getting Siri to read my emails for me and laughing when she says a swear. Bobby Townsend

Triple Denim. Sophie Metcalfe

Pizza rolls. Tenley Nordstrom

Sappy rom-coms. But that’s an obvious one. Kaya Strehler

Steak for breakfast. Goes against all convention (unless you live in America) but guarantees a superhero power day. Harriet Cheney

Vegemite. It’s a yeast extract, ewww. Oliver Heath

Sausage dogs. Stumbling across one in the wild, if they were ever able to survive without humans, you would react with a chesty laugh like – what the fuck is this pathetic animal even doing in front of me? I can’t imagine any habitat in which they would thrive, no less scrape by, but goddamn are they good company. Sausage dogs have the cutest li’l stumpy bodies but without the neurotic yapyap rage-fear of other small dogs. Designed through breeding to have flabby skin so they can squeeze down rabbit holes, they are pretty clever doges (yes they are, booboo, yes they are). The humble dachshund deals with scoliosis, but I pick him up for cuddles regardless. James Jamhound Booker

Being given more change than you should (I know, I should give it back but I’m a poor student). Kirstie Newman

Paying with exact change. I really shouldn’t get as much as a thrill from that as I do. Harriet Cheney

Frozen grapes. Especially when hungover (seriously kids, try it). Koren Helbig

Gay clubs. And icy poles being served at 10am out of a bucket in gay clubs. Jess Matthews

things that shouldn't be awesome

TESCO MEAL DEALS. Sophie Metcalfe 

These bad boys (pictured, left)! Neil Martin 

Anti-fashion. Clashing patterns, unflattering ’80s jackets and my hat on backwards like a teenage boy. I know I don’t look particularly great, but it feels awesome. Harriet Cheney

Men in leather pants. Some kind of biker fetish maybe. Or just remnant love for people that look like they could be in a hair metal band. Bianca Cornale

Wearing leather AND fur in the same outfit. Jess Matthews 

Bottles of wine that cost less than one euro. Koren Helbig

Sucking on a spoon while chopping onions (to alleviate the weepies), and rubbing your fingers against the inside of the sink after chopping garlic (to erase the smell). I thought that these were both wives’ tales, but they’re magic(al). Chloe Mayne

Putting Robbie William’s Angels on (notorious late-night Sydney drinking spot) The Gaslight’s jukebox at 2am… the singalong will restore your faith in Sydney nightlife. Colin Delaney

Karaoke. Kirstie Newman

All puns anywhere ever. Sophie Metcalfe

Replying “that’s what she said” to anything, always. Koren Helbig


Now, we wanna know what you like wayyyyy more than you should. Tell us in the comments section below…