Ways that too much work makes you stupid
While you may have convinced yourself that your job is awesome and not an absolutely mind-numbing waste of time, chances are it’s making you dumb-as-shit. Harriet Cheney explains why:
1. You lose sight of the bigger world – the world outside your office – and start to develop idiotic ‘in’ jokes based around industry acronyms.
2. You inevitably watch far too many cat videos and read far too many Buzzfeed lists as some imaginary form of escape, even though you’re still sitting at your desk.
3. You stop thinking for yourself and are unable to come up with new ideas because you can’t remember what it’s like to be somewhere other than home or at your office.
4. You convince yourself you like some mundane, shit, repetitive, soul-destroying, predominantly admin–based work.
5. You start power-walking to work, looking like one of those freaks who wear work clothes with joggers, because it’s the only time you can fit in exercise.
6. Because work is all you ever do, you get angry at people who have a life and don’t respond to your emails immediately.
7. You start menstruating with your female colleagues from being around them so much, so for a week a month everyone is particularly stupid (I’m sure the pheromones are enough to give the males PMS too).
8. You have no time for creative pursuits that use different parts of the brain, so your thought processes becomes one-dimensional and less inspired.
9. You can’t stop thinking about work when you’re not at work, so you can’t sleep properly and that makes you more stupid.
10. You read your horoscope to see if tomorrow’s going to be more exciting and some ambiguous optimism satisfies you for an hour or so.
11. You leave work late, completely brain-wasted and hop on the wrong bus/train/ferry, so you get home stupidly late and beast-like from hangriness.
12. Your definition of a Big Night Out turns into work drinks or going to a movie.
13. You get jealous of people that are away on sick leave even if they have a hideous, incapacitating infection.
14. You want to treat yourself for working hard but have no time, so you eat some greasy, MSG-laden feast (by yourself at your desk) followed by too much sugar and your brain practically stops working while your stomach processes it, which obviously makes you stupid.
15. You learn not to medicate with food, so you go online shopping at lunch and treat yourself to a wardrobe of stuff that you don’t even really want, spending all the money you just worked so hard to earn. Just so fucking stupid!
So tomorrow, leave work on time! But what would I know? I work too much.
Ways that too much work makes you stupid, by Harriet Cheney