The Quirks of Intimacy – The Two Of Us
Ah, intimacy. The delicate and sinewy thread that we weave between ourselves and others like gentle spiders, shyness giving way to a slower and stranger blossoming, moving in crests as we watch and study in a sort of drunken bird dance. Intimacy with a beloved partner comes in a spectrum of hues, but it’s so different to that of family – sure, as we grow older we come to know our relatives in differently coloured lights to those washed over our childhood, but this is a chosen curiosity, a decided unfurling, an adventure without guarantees. The things we discover in our other can be bizarre and delightful, at times parallels to our own universes and at times rather perpendicular, but always utterly absorbing. Thus, we’ve devised a little roadmap to the quirks and curiosities that emerge when a pair of human creatures take the plunge and tease the veil from one another…
Guilty pleasures
During the ascent of entanglement, there tends to come a point at which the dorky floodgates click open and, like a welled-up dam suddenly chipped at, those tiny hidden indulgences begin to trickle out. It could be a seldom-professed enjoyment of rom-com and popcorn, or a fascination with the new Miley Cyrus record which extends beyond irony. It could be sniffing the pages of an old book, or studying peeling wallpaper, or running a hand across the top of a picket fence. Whatever it is, it lies just outside the bounds of the expected and confessing it in close company pulls the strings of that intimate web ever-tighter.
Speaking in tongues
It’s that labyrinthic dialogue that unfolds between the two of you, and nobody else. Perhaps it began with an inside joke, or a funny nickname; but then it spread, torrential volleys of abbreviations and mix-ups that deserve their own dictionary, because any attempt to explain them to the world outside your bubble is sure to be a fruitless task.
House habits
After a few swapped nights in one another’s homes, these things etch themselves nice and clear. How many cardboard toilet rolls are lined up along the bathroom floor? Is the cutlery drawer the top one? What adorns the bedroom walls? Is the desk riddled with wrinkled papers or are the pens and sketchbooks stacked by size? Each of these is a potential line on the map, leading us around the peninsulas of love.
Smell me
In that classic childhood debate as to which sense you could do without, smell gets seriously underrated. Rooted so deeply in our instinct, it’s easy to take for granted – but tricky to appreciate in its splendour. Take, for example, the scent discovered when a nose buries itself in a loved one’s hair, or into the folds of their towel, or a pillowcase after a sleepover. The lingering aroma of Calvin Klein on a forgotten shirt. Smells are thin strings that tie themselves around our fingers and keep us in perpetual swoon.
Tinier things
Now we’re getting down to the nitty-gritty; the smallest of intrigues that may go unnoticed for the longest time. In some ways these are among the most powerful, because you barely realise that you’ve noted them until their fleeting gleam in the light. It’s the way your grin is a bit lopsided on the left, or the way they lick their teeth when deep in thought, or the fine smattering of goosebumps that emerge on your forearms when you explain something that excites you.
Intimacy is pure and utter acceptance. It comes in a whole spectrum of forms, and in doing so opens its arms to equality at its most wide-eyed and wonderful. Here, we treasure the spidery and strange conglomeration of paths that tangle up #the2ofus.
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We want to know your partner’s oddest and more endearing quirks! Let us know and you could score yourself a Something You Said goodie bag containing CDs, movie tickets etc. Tell us in the comments section below or email us at admin@somethingyousaid.com.
Words by Chloe Mayne.
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