A made-up interview with J Mascis
Somethingyousaid.com’s Lisa Says engages in a somewhat creepy (and completely made-up) conversation with J Mascis about his new album:
If J Mascis is famous for something besides his virtuous, loud guitar play and his long and – by now – grey hair, then it’s the fact that he’s not really chatty in conversation with journalists. Mostly he gives short, uninformative answers. If one reads an interview with Mr Mascis, the speaking-part of the journalist is likely to be much bigger than J’s.
Nevertheless, ever since I heard about him visiting Berlin quite often (as his wife is from there), I can’t help but think about what I would ask him if I’d meet him by coincidence in the U-Bahn. There is a small J in my head. So I took the advantage and asked him a few questions about his new album.
Location: Berlin, in the Ringbahn.
Time: late, greyish November afternoon, freezing
Persons: Lisa Says (real), J Mascis (all answers are completely made up)
Hey, wow… you’re J Mascis!
Äehm… I know.
(Getting faster while speaking): That might sound weird, but I always imagined I’d meet you here… in the U-Bahn… so I always imagined what I’d ask you, just in case… sorry, it must get on your nerves that people recognise you… it’s just… your music gave me company ever since I heard “Little Furry Things” the first time… awesome video by the way… inspired me so much as an artist… sorry.
I just always wanted to tell you how much your music means to me. Well, that’s done now. By the way, I really like your new album. Do you mind answering some questions? I’m writing for this blog, you know..
J: … –
(awkward moment of silence, the two of them are staring at different points at the ceiling, in the background there is the musical noise of squeaking wheels and the voice announcing the stops)
I think the sound of the Berlin underground is quite particular. Makes me sometimes think of your music. The older stuff I mean.
What?
How come you make this acoustic, sweet melodic stuff now?
Dunno.
But don’t you miss your loud guitars?
No.
Do you sometimes have problems with your ears?
Why?
After a Dinosaur Jr. show there’s a good chance that one has a problem. Do you use earplugs?
What?
Sometimes people even left the show before you finished playing. They complained about all that noise. Doesn’t that annoy you?
I don’t care… Fuckers.
There are also a lot of jokes about your hair.
I know. That’s because I’m quite fun.
Really?
No.
Is it hard to stay that grumpy all the time?
I’m not grumpy.
Do you want to confuse people? Is that why you’ve joined some Portlandia-episodes?
Not really.
By the way, have you been to India lately?
Why?
Your new album sounds a bit as if you were..
Mhh.
So?
What?
By the way… will there be a new Dinosaur Jr. album sometime soon?
…This is my stop!
(Leaving the train in a rush)
Still, the rumour goes that he will talk his head off as soon as he is asked about his guitars and effect pedals. So, J. If we ever meet. Let´s talk about that.
Words and illustration by Lisa Says. J Mascis’ latest album, ‘Tied To A Star’ is out now on Sub Pop.
