Born Bone Born at the Japanese Film Festival
‘The death of our most loved one saddens us all. Especially when we realise we’ll never see them again.’
In the midst of death and sorrow, humour is often said to be the best way of coping with loss. Centred around an Okinawan family who slowly come to terms with the loss of their mother Emiko (Mariko Tsutsui), Toshiyuki Teruya’s Born Bone Born is a story about a family struggling to come to terms with grief and tradition.
Toshiyuki Teruya, known professionally as Gori, is a Japanese comedian, director and musician who uses humour to bring joy to a film that deals with the uncomfortable subject matter of grief. The characters in Born Bone Born are absurd, over-the-top caricatures that paint the portrait of a dysfunctional family which celebrates the flawed and strange absurdities associated with being human, and makes for an entertaining watch throughout. The family includes Nobutsuna (Okuda), an alcoholic and now bankrupt father, Yuko (Ayame Misaki), a heavily pregnant and unmarried daughter, Nobuko (Yoko Ohshima), a feisty aunt, Tsuyoshi (Michitaka Tsutsui), a divorced business man and Ryoji (Qtaro Suzuki), a clueless long haired boss. All characters challenge social norms and tradition, much of which Japanese culture seems to adhere to. This mixed array of personalities paints a picture of a family whose dysfunction could perhaps be attributed to the differing ways we all deal with grief. The pain or struggle of accepting death’s certainty separates those who have lost loved ones with those who have yet to. For we know this separation is temporary, just like how we know the feelings associated with grief are temporary, for we are all united by the loss of our loved ones and hold onto the comfort humour brings as we come to accept and live through the pain.
Generally speaking, funerals help families to come to terms with a loss, rightfully grieving and saying farewell to loved ones who are no longer with them through the ritual of a service, a burial or cremation, and perhaps a viewing. It is a confronting but necessary social practice that says farewell to those no longer living for those who still remain. In Born Bone Born Teruya introduces us to the practice of Senkotsu, an Okinawan custom of digging up and washing the bones of a family member’s remains, four years after their passing. This confronting cultural practice brings up any lingering pain that remains which may have been buried years prior but has not been dealt with properly. Partaking in such rituals and customs as part of Okinawan tradition can be comforting to those grieving and help individuals dealing with loss come to terms with the fact that death is a part of life.
Born Bone Born opens with the viewing of Emiko’s body, a mother whose death is mourned by her family, quickly followed by a hilarious scene of a man trying to scab free food from the grieving family. He asks unashamedly for leftovers, some rice, some salmon, and some fruit until he is shooed off for his request. Seeing these lighthearted scenes sprinkled throughout the film helps us understand the need for humour and absurdity in times of grief, as it helps remind us of better times and helps us cope during the worst.
On the island of Okinawa as the film portrays it, the family lives in a small rural town and it seems as if everyone knows of each other, and gossip tends to spread quickly. Anything that goes against tradition and social norms, such as getting pregnant out of wedlock, is an offence and quickly becomes the talk of the town. Two women, a shopkeeper and the town gossip commenting on Yuko’s pregnancy until Yuko’s aunt Nobuko calls them out for it and embarrasses the two in the shop. In exchange for the socially awkward situation the two women now find themselves in, the shop keeper offers free food and then a lower payment as compensation and to apologise for their actions. Instead of accepting, the Nobuko pays the exact amount the purchase requires, 3020 yen no more, no less, this action speaking of the strict and firm belief that a purchase is merely a transaction and that you should not owe anyone anything. Perhaps in being firm and sticking to tradition, these rules and cultural behaviours help create a professional and respectable distance between families whose customs go back many generations.
Traditionally portrayed by many cultures in society as the most important, the man or the father-figure is often seen as head of the family or the patriarch who is looked to for leadership and advice on decisions regarding family matters. What often is forgotten however is perhaps the significance the loss of the patriarch’s partner, the matriarch, one who supports the father or the head of the family, means to a leader who is left without the support of their loved one. However you decide to define family, this universality in coping with life’s joys and sufferings is something that can only be dealt with when shared.
Born Bone Born paints the portrait of a family struggling, a father lost and absent, a daughter confused and pregnant, and a son unable to accept the loss of his mother. Senkotsu, or bone washing is a Okinawan custom I don’t think I could ever fully understand but perhaps this answer could bring some sort of clarity in a voice-over provided in the film’s final moments, ‘Why do we wash bones? I felt like I finally knew the answer. It was ourselves that we were washing.’
Okinawa, being an island of Japan situated close to ocean and strongly rooted family tradition and having associations with the sea, perhaps the washing of bones or Senkotsu represents a symbolic cleansing of oneself from grief, a tradition passed down by many Okinawans over many generations. Whilst the practice of exhuming a body to wash the bones of a loved one is something that is confronting and difficult to comprehend, I find the analogy of washing oneself as alluded to by Teruya as the reason for washing bones something I can understand and find comfort in. For those grieving a loss there is a comfort that can be found in the certainty of watching waves roll in and in seeing the tide ebb and flow that is akin to the process of coming to terms with one’s grief. For just as the water crashes upon the shore bringing debris and what seems at first painful reminders of what remains, eventually these painful reminders are washed away, cleansed, and transformed into familiar and comforting reminders of those we’ve lost but have not forgotten.
Review by Addy Fong.
Born Bone Born which plays at the Japanese Film Festival in Sydney on the 17th and the 23rd: https://japanesefilmfestival.net/film/born-bone-born
