Self Esteem talks new music, Covid and the benefits of enforced stillness

Self Esteem, aka Rebecca Lucy Taylor, has returned with her new single, I Do This All The Time. We spoke to her about her new music, Covid, directing herself, and playing live again:

Hi Rebecca. Thanks for taking the time to talk to us. The past 12 months have been tough haven’t they? Where have you been based during the various lockdowns?

So tough! But I’ve had a very easy time compared to the health care/frontline workers. I escaped to my parents’ house in Sheffield for both lockdowns. The first one I did a lot of painting and writing. In-between them I recorded the album, and then in the second lockdown I obsessed over the tracking/mixing/production of the album until I could safely get back into the studio to finish it. 

Congratulations on your awesome new single, I Do This All The Time. Can you tell us a little about its creation? How did the idea of the spoken work verses come about? Were they inspired by anything in particular?

I was basically in a bit of a rut writing-wise. I write a lot of one-line poems and I just had this idea to speak this stream of consciousness rather than figure them all out into lyrics. The chorus had been in my head for a good few months. I’m inspired mostly by my feelings and emotions and processing them through uncomfortable lyrics! A tonne of my work is centred in the idea that I have not lived like a ‘conventional’ woman and all my work is about reconciling that, accepting it and being proud of it. 

You also directed the video. How do you find the experience of directing yourself, and what can we expect from future clips?

I directed three videos on one day! Directing myself is difficult, but I’ve realised it’s the only way for me to really create what’s in my head. Coming soon is a pretty outrageous choreography lead piece which is rather arousing, if I do say so myself.

An artist’s second album is notoriously ‘difficult.’ How have you found creating the follow-up to the amazing Compliments Please? Has the fact that your first album was so well-received helped or hindered you when making your new record?

The most difficult part was wondering if there was a reason it has felt so easy to make. I was constantly thinking “hmm… something isn’t right here. It’s too fluid and natural and enjoyable, what’s the catch!?” But I think it’s just because I have spent so many years compromising that when I am able to make my own vision without pushback, it becomes just a lot simpler and efficient.

Has the pandemic affected your creative processes? Were you writing/recording during the pandemic and lockdowns, and what challenges did that present?

I had basically written the album just before the pandemic really hit, so I had this time to refine the songs before recording them and then again had the time to really ruminate on them and be very thorough. I can be a bit impatient so this enforced time for reflection on the whole thing was weirdly amazing for my work. Not to make a global pandemic work for me or anything! 

How do you feel now that the UK is opening up properly again? Are you looking forward to playing in front of live audiences when you tour later this year? 

I’m beside myself excited to play live again. It’s all I can think about. A Self Esteem show is not something you pop along to. It is an evangelical experience! I have missed delivering the sermons! The first time we can dance and sing and cry together again will maybe finish me off to be honest. 

Has life thrown you any highlights since Covid happened? Any surprising moments of levity and enjoyment that you weren’t expecting, and do you think there is anything you will take from lockdown life into normal life? 

Yeah, I really did benefit from the enforced time in stillness. I’ve been in a band since I was 17 and never really ever stopped performing, travelling, writing. To take away that constant busyness made me finally confront some things in my personal life that, while they were really tough, have changed my perception and outlook on what I am doing with my life and my purpose. I’m really hoping I don’t fuck that all off and get back to bad habits and distraction, but look, I can but try!

What are you listening to/reading/watching at the moment? Any hot tips for us?

I’m obsessed with Joanna Warren! The song Twisted blew me away. I cannot get enough of it.

Thanks Rebecca! What are you going to do now that you’ve finished this interview? 

I have more interviews! All on Zoom which is a bit miserable, but at least I can do them sat in my pants. x

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Interview by Bobby Townsend. Top photo by Olivia Richardson.