Down For Tomorrow: Embracing Vulnerability
Sydney-based indie-punk quartet Down For Tomorrow have just revealed their new single ‘Emily’. They’ve written a piece for us about vulnerability and imperfection:
There are a lot of words I can use to describe perfectionism, and none of them are good. It’s horrible enough not being able to look at yourself in photos because you wish you had a more attractive smile, or a smaller nose, or straighter eyes. It’s disheartening to find yourself paralysed with doubt because you hold yourself to such a harsh and unfair standard. It’s a whole lot worse when you feel you’re unable to express these fears and flaws, and instead resort to hiding your unique traits in an effort to “fit in”.
We are, ultimately, our own worst enemies. Our minds like to create unrealistic rules and boundaries that make us think it’s not ok to make mistakes, to be quirky and different, to show our emotions and desires. I am of the opinion that it’s incredibly important to understand that your imperfections are some of your greatest gifts, and showing vulnerability is an admirable act of strength and courage.
Self-acceptance is easier said than done, because it’s paradoxical. Ironically, accepting you’re not the happiest, most attractive, or most confident person, will lead to you feeling more complacent and less anxious. We’re so immersed by media and information at all times that we tend to get a distorted view of the world: “Everyone is happy, talented, and successful, but I’m not.”
The truth is, everyone is flawed, and that is beautiful. I’m not the best musician or songwriter on the planet, but I’m going to give it my best fucking shot. I’m not the best socialiser, but I’ll make a conscious effort to be seen and heard. In the chorus of ‘Show Me That You Care’, I bare some vulnerability with the lyrics, “I’m no match for my emotions, but I’ll attest to you I’m trying.”
Putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, judged, or turned down, is one of the most commendable acts you can do. It’s risky, but it shows true determination to let yourself get hurt in order to move forward and achieve what you want. The most interesting people I know have very little to hide. They are not afraid of the consequences of vulnerability, to show their feelings, to wear their flaws on their sleeve, to be themselves. Honest expression is the key to pure connections and relationships.
When you’re constantly shown something greater than yourself over and over, it’s hard to remain optimistic and motivated. This consumption is not healthy. Everyone is going to face problems, feel insecure, and have low self-esteem at some point in their lives. But openly confessing that things aren’t ok, that you’re not good at something, that you’re wrong about something, is a big power move.
Admitting you’re imperfect and vulnerable will not alter the truth that you are brave and worthy of acceptance. I implore whoever reads this to embrace these two characteristics as your strengths, to be the realest person you can be. Love yourself. Make mistakes and learn from failure. Some of the greatest things that have happened in my life have been birthed from mistakes. Focus on progress and self-improvement, rather than perfection. Tell people you love and appreciate them. Do things that scare you and make you feel uncomfortable. I really believe that these acts are imperative in personal growth and uncovering your true potential.
To become more resilient, you must expose your flaws and weaknesses for the world to see. It’s definitely not an overnight thing, it can and will be difficult and exhausting. But opening up and teaching yourself to be at one with your faults and conveying yourself without limitation will help you find new depths in your capability and connections. I’d like to sign off with a David Kessler quote: real people aren’t perfect, and perfect people aren’t real.
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